The ride back to Vasant Kunj had never been this long or tiring. My hand shaking for no apparent reason – I am still 22 so I am yet to see that side of the age – as I tried to limply puff up the ultra mild I was carrying. One after another. And then more. A blank mind is nothing new to an experienced Libran, yet that day it was. It felt as if my mind was playing games with me. It would recollect the events of barely few minutes back and then suddenly go blank. Tears trickling down my cheeks. I was lost. For the first time I could realize how the meaning of life is exaggerated, how little problems are blown out of proportion. And again the thoughts would take a round turn back to horrific event…
A loud bang. Followed by numerous thoughts in a minuscule second, “Did a CNG cylinder burst or is it…was it …could it be…a bomb blast?” A hot sting on my right leg as I was still trying to comprehend things. Couldn’t care less about it. Heart beating a thousand beats in a minute as I spin around only to find a cloud of smoke greet me. Suddenly the busy streets of GK M block turned into a sight from a nightmare. Besides a few people trickling here and there, nothing else was visible to my sight. Mind was still unable to comprehend anything, i.e. till the time I saw a young man running along with a girl, holding hands. Immediately as if waiting for this exact cue, bees started buzzing around. These human bees though belonging to varied caste, culture and creed, had the same expression tattooed their faces — that of fear and helplessness.
Someone yelled, “a girl is hurt. Her leg is bleeding.” Instantly my head did a swift 360 degree spin to search for her. I will skip this part…it is better to delete certain parts from ones memory for the sake of heart.
I knew there would have been casualties. Perplexed, one leg wanted to rush while the other wanted to turn towards the smoke and see if any help was required. Finally, I gathered all courage I could muster up from the core of my totally freaked out heart. At that very moment, fear and strength intermingled inside me as I briskly made my way through the smoke. I looked all around but couldn’t see anyone. Finally I turned back and walked out of the market. I didn’t run. I still can’t imagine that I didn’t run. Maybe my legs were not in sync with my brain! Could still see people rushing around. A father holding the hand of his daughter and the mother quickly in tow with the young son was running to safety.
The entire lane wherein one could see people haggling with the auto rickshaw drivers was looking like a lane straight out of a horror flick. I reached inside my pocket and tried to call my mother to tell her that she will have to shell out money for my marriage after all! Lines, needless to say, were jammed. I knew I had to leave that place, so I started walk. The numb mind couldn’t distinguish one lane from another. I continued walking, going wherever my legs would take me. Frantic calls from office, friends and home had started coming by then. My shopping trips are way too well known.
Sitting in the auto with salt covered cheeks I was thinking about destiny and the role it plays. I had gone to GK M block 2 days back to shop. Instead of just a pair of jeans that I originally wanted, I ended up blowing way too much moolah there. Armed with a zillion bags, I forgot my own bag at the shop. The next day office work begged me not to go to GK. Finally, I decided to collect the bag from GK on Sat and meet my friend after that. Turned out that I had to go and work on an e-mailer that was seriously screwed. Work on an off day! As a result went to GK later than I had decided. My friend, who as a strict rule doesn’t work even during the weekdays, decided to complete his office work and meet me at 7 p.m. I, thus, had ample time to roam around GK. Destiny wanted me to be there but God helped me come out of it safe…well almost.
Once back at my friends place (he drove at a speed of over 100 and he’s not a regular biker guy!) we chewed on whatever we could and I slept after checking on my family and friends.
The next day when I finally was able to smoke without my hand shaking, I realized that my leg was bleeding. 2 deep cuts and a swollen leg.
I am yet to shrug off the weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I laugh now but that day has definitely left behind a sadness that I am unable to wipe off. I have heard time is the biggest healer – hopefully it will heal the void I feel inside me now. I was lucky but there were numerous others who were not. So I move on for there is nothing that I can do now. At times I kick myself for not being courageous enough to go deeper into the smoke to help others. I learnt that it is better to just do the right thing without giving it a second thought. I don’t want to ever regret anything.
This one incident taught me more than not to go for frequent shopping trips; not to fill gas in a lighter( I could have been at prince pan shop had I not got frustrated of numberless guys there); and that silver jewelry is way better than junk jewelry. Delhi blasts taught me that life is too short to hold grudges; it is too short to worry about future; that it is too short to not profess love to the ones we truly care about. So, I am a self proclaimed casanova now! Spreading love!...just kidding! At times it is important to just laugh.
