Load Full Of Bullshit!

Hello guys...I wrote this one randomly for some creative writing community on orkut...no thought went into it..as is evident..just a fun filled exercise to water my otherwise dried brain cells. Criticism is welcome...for I'm aware of the quality of this one..but ooo just writing this was so much fun!!! Anyways...here goes...


Don't use your brains
if your aint got some
don't try to speak
when your aint got words

don't gimme bullshit
coz it aint gonna work

life might give you a raw deal
or your luck might be bathing in the rain with my cars wheel
losing might be your second name
and tears your best friend

but don't dare gimme bullshit
coz it aint gonna work...i swear it aint gonna work

bullshit, satan queen

An Angel

Dejection sitting on my doorstep
And pain waiting by my bed
To make love to me
Standing alone I wondered
Pathless and aimless
Where to turn to
To whom to rely on

Time wont stop for none
It wont for me either
Chaos all around
Order broken at various junctions
Standing alone I wondered
Pathless and aimless
Where to turn to
To whom to rely on

My life in a mess
With nowhere to turn to
Finding myself like a rocky shore
Distanced from the world
Standing alone I wondered
Pathless and aimless
Nowhere to turn to
To whom to rely on

I found an angel
Innocent of all evils
Sublime in his love
Blurred suddenly became clear
No more was I alone
I found the path and the aim
And he became someone
To whom I could turn to
To whom I could rely on…

As I Stand Alone

Enclosed by an unknown darkness
Scared, breathing heavily and watery eyed
I close my eyes

A sudden lurch of heart
Panting like a marathon runner
Struggling to keep up

Fighting against all odds
Dryness fast taking over my mouth
Suffocating, a deep sigh escapes from deep within

Running in the unknown land
Among known strangers
I pace up

The need to arrive somewhere
Where to remains unknown

Tiny droplets of water
Falling in symphony
As I open my eyes, scared

Enclossed by an unknown darkness
Scared,breathing heavily and watery eyed

The void seeps in
Taking over my entire being
As I stand alone
In the midst of known strangers...

The Unruly Delhi Girls

Fastidious,head strong, cunning, loud mouthed, groovy....Don't worry I'm not trying to remember different words from the dictionary. These words and more ( I can line up a long que!) are ideally used as synonimous with ' delhi girls'. Chances are if you belong to some state other than Delhi you too might have at times associated one of such words or a host of them with delhi chicks( yup..chicks is universally referred to girls but delhi girls have got the privilidge to be solely called as chicks too.).

What inspired me to write a blog was an account that transpired a few days ago. One my of close guy buddies who was looking ...well dishearted finally confessed that his girl friend of barely a year or so is doubting uhumm... my relations with him.

The disheartened guy " yaar...she thinks there is something going on between us. I have tried explaining things to her but to no avail."

Me, completly taken aback, yet trying to act like an agony aunt " oh! why! Didn't you tell her that I'm in a serious relationship for over 3 years now...I'm as good as married for heaven sake! " All right...the line " im almost married" was clearly an exaggeration but 3 years is not a small time frame. Isn't it illogical to doubt someone whose in a long distance relationship thats lasted an eternity? Even if its a long distance relationship?

Anyways, the disheartened guy " I did tell her all that...but....."

Me, now curious more than anything " What did she have to say to that? She doesn't believe that I'm in a relationship or what?"

The disheartened guy " Well...its not that...its just...let it be..."

Me, curiosity taking its toll on me now " Come out with it.Tell me now."

Finally after a round of coaxing that seemed to last till eternity he says" Well she says that she trusts me but not you.She says she doesn't trust 'DELHI GIRLS'."

Well what in the name of the lord did she mean by that! Temper rising inside me as if I was slowly transforming into a lioness...the sharp teeth are on...next comes the edgey claws and voiola! I'm ready to make the kill!

Well I didn't say anything to my already disheartened friend about his disillusioned girl friend. But that really did got me thinking. I have come across couple of other situations where people seem to generalise the 'delhi girls' as being fastidious, clever, cunning and what not! True there are girls like that in delhi...but then aren't these girls in other parts of India too. Fine there number might be more in Delhi but there is a reason for it.

The reason is the society, the people around us and thE way they behave. Delhi girls are judged on everything starting from the way they dress up to the way they speak english to the way they walk to the way they are open about their views to making male friends. If you happen to be a delhi girl and for some unfortunate reason had to visit some other state...god forbid! All my sympathies with you ladies! They are metted out same behavious as is given to foreigners...dupe them, use them and throw them like paper napkins. Thats what the general perception is about them. I think it has got more to do with the fact that they reside in a metropolitan than residing in Delhi.

Did I hear someone say Unity in diversity? Bullshit! When people can't even treat the female crowd belonging to the capitla of the country as equals, who are they to talk about unity?

The way we, the Delhi girls are is due to the exposure of western culture here...No not the exposure to the girls but to the men folk out here. It is difficult for a girl to be docile, meek and submissive ...in short be the haanji ma ji kinds!.... if they want to survive in a state like delhi.

Ever bothered to check the number of rape cases in the capital? Ever faced the ongoing eve teasing while travelling in buses or for that matter even while standing in the balcony of your own house? Life for 'Delhi girls' is not easy. It's about survival of the fittest. You gotta roar to shu away the unwanted people who are there only to create bad news for you.

Anyways whats wrong with the way the delhi girls are? People ( or should i say MCP's...male chuvinistic pigs!) seem to think that they are not lady like. How can you expect a delhi girl to behave like a chandigarh's behnji when the scenario in delhi is completely different and Anywyas who has given the meaning to the word 'lady'? One of my friends have raised 'the lady issue' in her blogs too. I quiet agree with her. If standing up for her rights or speaking her mind is not considered lady like...then be it. I'm elated to be called unlady like!( Though my male friends beg to disagree on this one!)

Delhi Girls...you rock! Keep up the unruly, unladky like behavior!

Steer Away...New Rebel On The Block!

It's almost 5 in the morning now. After my daily midnight tryst with the dog that keeps hanging around in my locality...I should have gone off to sleep like other day but somehow today I just can't seem to even lie down without getting this unexplainable restlessness and heaviness in the brain ( which is far more wierd since i have a serious lack of it!). Even tried listening to all kinds of music from Maroon 5 to 'ahista' by Pankaj Udas to 'sutta' by Zeest to 'tere mere milan' from Abhimaan movie. Finally couldn't help but switch the computer back on to give my thoughts a new form...in the form of words.

There are times when we have everything that we need for a comfortable existence and yet there is a null...a void...that seems to linger somewhere in the background which you are unable to push away from sight. It simply refuses to go. It stays in the background and like a little nagging child( or even an adult! )keeps jumping infront of your other thoughts until you can take it no more. It is times like this that make me realise the true worth of my regular dose of the little black bottle and the wonder drug which evaporates into the thin air in the form of tiny white clouds taking the shape of innumerable little angels...angels for sure...since it takes me to the a different world...one which i call paradise. Paradise it is for sure because I don't need noone there, just me and my solitude and it feels like I have achieved nirvana! Who would have thought achieving nirvana was this simple...So much for the uncountable years of prayer! ;)

I feel a change in me. A definite change. When i say that change is the only thing constant , I'm not stating some unknown scientific funda.Everyone is aware of it. There are times when we realise that we are changing and at other times its more of a slow and subtle change which makes it hard for us to acknowledge the fact that it has taken place..but it does.

This is precisely the 3rd time in my life when i can understand that I'm chaning..and for the better.Isn't change always for the better? Maybe or maybe not. But thats a different discussion all together. So coming back to where i drifted from, what i feel different is that I have become more of a rebel...no not the kinds whose out there to abuse, give a damn about the world and ensure that the world knows about it in half decent clothing kinds!

Im more of a decent rebel. One who wants her freedom and doesn't want numerous questions nagging her all the time. I seem to have become averse to the very sight of a question mark! Notice how many times i use an exclamation...even when there is a need of a question mark! lolz. All i need is to be a free bird who can fly away to whereever she wants. I'm not there to harm anyone. I can never do that. But let me be by myself. Make my own path, follow my dreams no matter how tacky or unachievable they may seem to anyone, do my own thing without fearing about the implications of it. Is that wrong? I don't want to even think if its wrong or not...all my life thats what i have been doing. Weighing everything before even taking a step...I told you being a libran has big time disadvantages.

Coming down to calling myself a rebel. I call myself one simply because I'm tired of trying to live according to the norms set by the so called "society". My life will be lived on my terms...Take it or leave it. Might lose couple of people i care about but I am willing to risk that. For the first time in my entire life ( 21 years is not small deal dude!..ya ya i know you are older than me...is that good? ;) !) I'm not thinking. Those who love me will be with me no matter what anyways...I'm testing you my friend! ;)

I'm driving my own car...enjoying the journey...not following any road map for christ sake!...taking the unknown feared path...the forbidden path ...atleast I will find the answers to everything... after all I have always been inquisitive!

An Encounter That Was't Meant To Be...

I have witnessed something that is sure to make anyone go insane...I'm already insane so I'm saved and could therefore give a true narration of this unbelievable account that took place some days ago. It took me a few days to truly believe it for myself that this was for real. STATUTORY WARNING :Read further only if you are not a heart patient, sensitive at heart or are preg.

Like always I was going back home after a day's hard work which was enough to make a pig sweat. pig..salami..mmm..sorry...was about to lose track..focus focus focus here damn it( this is one of the side effects that this strange encounter had on me).So anyways, as i was siting lazily in the cab about to drift off to o my sweet sleep, this wierd looking bird came and perched on the seat next to me. I think it was a bird but can't be sure...it had a definite resemblance to a parrot. One can't possibly miss the big round eyes and the face that seemed to thrust forward from the neck.

I'm a bird lover so in other circumstance i would probably would have felt delighted on seeing one. But this was no ordinary bird. It looked at me with those big round hovering eyes as if about to make the kill. My mind must have given some kind of a signal to the entire body for i unconsciously shifted back..as if I wanted to open the door and run without looking back, my hands flying in all directions...to save my dear life!

Then all of a sudden the pleasant weather began to shift uncomfortably too... clouds started gathering on the darkning sky as if trying to warn me of the bad omen.Mind you this is no 666 omen...I could have handled that..but no this one is far worse. Enough to make the satan sweat...I'm just the satan queen for pete sake!


Help me someone..help...o god...the side effects are making me go dizzy just from recollecting the encounter...

Will tell you the rest when I have fully recovered from this strange confounded state.

A Weighty Medicine To Treat You- With Love From Baba

Slight breeze on a Saturday evening seemed like it was going to be a good day when I could finally relax and catch up on the latest that’s been happening around the world. After holding down the abused button of the remote control I ended up on the IBN7 news channel. What I saw there was enough to stir the sleeping temper inside me.

A young man somewhere in his late 20’s christened as the great “sadhu baba” had set up his tent somewhere in the outskirts of Nagpur where people in large numbers had gathered with the hope that he would miraculously take away their trouble and physical ailments. Don’t mistake him to treat the innocent or rather naïve people with any medications. Rather he has an unusual way of treating them including the tiny tots. Let me narrate how he was treating one of them. He stood up with all his weight (don’t ask me how much he weighs dude…he wasn’t standing on me!) on this little infant..yes you read it right…this little baby whose not more than a few months old! Bloody fucked up asshole! ( This is my blog and I have all the right to abuse!)

The poor baby could do nothing but only cry with all his might. It took every ounce of my self control to stop myself from getting into the T.V. and killing this Sadhu with my bare hands …and the realization that I can’t possibly enter into the T.V. or reach Nagpur in a nano seconds! The Baba took no mercy on the helpless baby, neither did the child’s parents nor the crowd standing nearby (they were busy clapping for the brave act that this holy soul ..(my ass)… was performing. The smiling godsend then, as if fully inspired by the crowd chanting his name, shifted his entire weight onto the baby’s knee…ouch!!!!! )

This is one of the numberless incidents that I have witnessed on news this past week. Such incidents are enough to send the rage of the viewer’s rocket high…those who are glued to the television.

This one particular journalist who lives near my house, uhum I mean one of those typical Punjabi aunties who can hardly accommodate herself on one chair and has no other work but gossip the entire day, couldn’t control but pass me on this information that all those who have seen the news are enraged and how most of her friends have been calling a news channel to raise their concern.

I find this extremely surprising. By ‘this’ I mean people calling up some random news channel to voice their so called opinion on such sensitive issues. I’m not referring to the issues raised by India Tv at the late night show with ‘does your wife hate sex’ or ‘should you really use Viagra’ kind of topics. I’m pointing towards topics which are necessary and require an immediate stringent action before they become a permanent stigma for the Indian society.

People can call up some media channel and put across their opinion against such happenings but these are the same people who rely on the ashirwad of the crooks who by wearing a saffron colored long gown and 4-5 bead chains around their neck and same number around their hands can easily make people believe that they have got magical powers.

Why is it that India though a free country fast moving towards becoming a developed nation still has numberless people who are still caught up in the web of superstition? Mind you its not just the illiterate class but also the highly educated filthy rich people who are seen traveling several kilometers just to get a darshan of their selected baba and take his blessings for every new venture that they take up or to seek his blessings so as to help their son get a divorce from his wife so that they can get a bahu who will cook better food than the present one or to get rid of that annoying back pain…reason could be any!

What is the government doing about this rising level of superstition among the people of our country? Not that I have any hopes from them but are they forever going to sit on their asses till the entire nation has a baba’s hand on their head? Why not make these baba’s the president and the prime minister of the country? People seem to have more faith in them than the politicians for sure!

Tried talking to my brother about this…here is the conversation that followed…

I, sitting on the bed about to pounce on the T.V. set shouted “what is wrong with these people? What about the child’s parents? They think that there is some bhoot ka saya on this little kid just because the baby cries the entire day?!” How about changing his nappy!

Then a dialogue comes from my half insane brother “I think you are crazy. Why are you getting so hyper? This is nothing new. It’s been happening since age’s immemorial and will continue. Can you pass me your half eaten snicker?” Crazy pig…can only think of eating all the time…why my chocolate!!!(After a small session of kicks that followed I managed to save my chocolate! Victory has never been so sweet!)

Anyways so what do we do? Sit on our asses and do nothing because it’s been happening since ages. This will continue if we don’t do something now. But what? Make the government sit up and take notice…well if they had this much attention span they would have seen these things happening as they happen right under their noses. The fact is that these crooks actually approach the politicians for taking permission to put up tents and hold their gyan sabha and offer a handsome amount in return.

As they say, at times politicians and nappies both have to be changed…and for the same reason.

Me The Insane One

Finally after multitude days of thinking,rethinking n then re-rethinking...i have managed to start a blog. Phew! Is it always this tough to start something new? Well seems like in my case it is! Love being a typical Libran mostly but it has got big time disadvantages along with it!...Damn ...just the word 'disadvantages' reminded me of 'VoIP'...my office lover! Too much work gets on my head at times...hope my boss reads this particular line..appraisal in a few months time! ;)

Well what took me so long to start blogging had partially to do with the fact that my indecisiveness got the better out of me...couldn't finalize a name for the blog! ...yuck...sounds vela!..Midnight scribble seemed like a perfecto decision since I happen to be a nocturnal bird...8 pm to 5 am is the time when I function the best. Hence the name. If one of my soul mates( read a totally insane person with ample time at hand to waste) happens to read the time this post was published he/she will realize that I'm actually writing in the evening...well well I might just be turning a lil sane after all these years of continuous pestering from people back home and friends.

Ops!Opened my mouth..or rather stroked the keys too soon!I just glanced back at what I have written till now...seems like I'm not so sane!....Anyways who decides whose sane and whose not? Reminds me of this novel I read back at the time of graduation( one of d few i managed to read...rest...hail to my savior Ramji Lal!)...Mrs. Dalloway was d name. Raised quiet a few questions and some got me really thinking...it doesn't take much to make me start thinking by the way...So anyways, back to the question..whose the ultimate deciding factor? Dalloway examined the same question.

The damn society who hides their dirt under their pillows in the morning before they decide to turn into the moral police? Or is it the new age ultra modern father who has no qualms in raping his own daughter? Or is it shiv sainks who think that by creating a havoc on the valentines day, by destroying shops decorated with heart shaped balloons and beating the f**k out of the young couples sitting cosily in a corner of some coffee shop or a garden( our very own buddha garden for one!hehehe) would help somehow miraculously save the 'Hindu Culture' from being lost among the western ethics?

Maybe the people who are tagged as insane have their own world wherein the so-called sane ones are looked upon as insane. Anyone who does something against the nomenclature are termed as psychopath or crazy. Why? Just because they don't agree with the rest of the world? Just because their thought process works differently?

Well if this is the case then I'm proud to be insane! Hail to the mighty insane's around the world!

p.s-The world would be a much better place if we could all just live and let others live happily. Why judge? Follow your heart, your dreams, your aspirations...there is so much to learn...so much more to earn( lolz).
....i know most of you by now are sure that I'm the great one...insane i mean!